Messing up your love life? (Part 1)

Wouldn’t you rather be glad that we have an instrument to measure true love? I certainly know you will, to make concrete decisions and know if your love life is perishing or flourishing. But the sad truth is that, there is no device like that; it is only the heart that can tell if there is indeed true love or the love life you are leading is heading towards the garbage trash.
If you come across a young man or a young lady and they tell you they are single, dig forward and unleash the hidden part for them being single. In fact, most of them do not desire to be single; of course singleness can be so tempting if the person involved is not solely depended on God for strength; it is very easy to fall to anyone that might come your way. It is an undeniable fact that, even if you are wood, of which you are not even wood, you will at a time become moist, that is the emotional period and you can mess up your life at that moment if your emotions outweighs your sense of self control.
There is one common reason why many people fall for the “wrong persons”; loneliness. That is the word; loneliness. Loneliness can be a disease if you don’t learn to be your own best friend. Yes, if you are single and you consider yourself as lonely, you will be tempted to either fall in for any proposal or you will be tempted to propose to the “wrong” person at the wrong place and TIME.
There is no one out there who is actually right or wrong. It is only when people become incompatible that there is confusion galore in any trivial issue. It is an intention to ‘fall’ in love and be in it; once your mind is made up to have a sweet relationship, you will work it out to best fit you both.
Why some people rush into relationships and it effects
It is the worse decision ever to make to rush into a relationship without a prepared mind, heart, soul and body. A greater percentage of people in such situations come out with wounds all over because they crushed after they rushed. Take and cool with enrolling into this school called relationship.
Broken relationship (broken hearts): many factors account to a relationship ending unexpectedly but both partners involved sometimes are unable to figure out the exact cause of that. The term “broken heart” suggest how the victim suffers it when the relationship ends out of the blue. Butit is better to have a “broken heart” in your relationship than in your marriage. It might be difficult to some people to quickly recover from such pain caused, but by all means you will overcome and start a new life. Experiencing this hurt in your marriage means that, you two are divorced (higher side) or separated (lower side) and that scar in the heart will be far heavier and painful than in your relationship.
In this situation, you only have the option to wait for the healing before you can step into a new love life, otherwise a soft wound which is subjected to another potential wound causer will not be at peace. You are only consoling yourself for a short while; any spark of scolding from your partner, might be seen as an insult. Stay cool; you have only one heart to keep breaking it always.
Revenge: some people can become so furious with their ex-partner as if they have been offended by everyone in world. Revenge happens when a relationship ends and the guy feels like, “well, I am the ladies’ man; I will get new catch today n))))” why you be bird catcher? And the lady also goes like, “I am the hottest girl in town and I am going to show this guy that me too I dey” huh, hottest? Your new partner will use you to cook food! The greatest revenge ever is to be like nothing has ever happened; silence. While working your way out to settle and start afresh. Why even take that decision? Rescind, for it is the worst decision to make.
“I am learning” kind of thinking: I guess there should be institutions purposefully for relationship trainings to prevent individuals from venturing into something they least have an idea about in the beginning. I am yet to see it in the bible that the first couples, Adam and Eve, were curious to learn about relationships or sex life before accepting to be partners. One major factor that results to divorce is when people began exploring different kinds of guys and ladies before marriage. Once you had been with different partners, you have actually had a fair knowledge about the different behavior of your partners and so if you finally settle with a husband or wife, you begin to play the cc game; comparing and contrasting your current partner to previous ones. If your ex- partner does better than your current, then troubles don’t come.
It is not bad to be in a relationship and study your partner, but it becomes bad to have that mindset that, “I want to go in and learn and finally look for Mr. Right or miss right”. Erase that thinking and start living a life of maturity; you cannot afford messing your love life.
All my friends are in it; I will be considered “kolo”, without a partner: eeerrh? Did you care to know their motives for going into their relationship? Many people have many reasons for starting a love life, but once it is out of the main reason for marriage, then, it becomes a game. Your friends are not you; if your friends are killing themselves, you will you do same because they are your friends? But if they call you “kolo” (uncivilised), will you die and your stature will change or your bank account will dry up?You do not have to be regulated by the actions of the crowd; every individual has a purpose to accomplish on earth. Someone’s decision should not control you to start a relationship at a time you are not ready, else you will face any consequence that it might result and they will laugh at you.
Uncontrolled libido; “I have the burning desire”: “I can’t control my feelings”, “I am not a wood”, “my senses are controlling me”, “There are a lot of nudity all around and I am getting crazy”. Those are some statements made by many people on several occasions. Sometimes (to the guys) you might wake up in the morning and the first picture you are seeing outside is an erected nipple protruding from a lady’s bosom because she did not put on bra or something showing worse than that and you are like “awww, I can no longer control this!” and you are tempted to have a date with her and it finally leads into something else. What a pity! The lady on the other hand sees a bare-chested man with six packs glaring (I heard many ladies like it) and you think you have found him. So you go on with the luring tactics and he falls for you, mess you up and you get a broken heart and right there you start seeking for revenge. Wise up sweetheart, you are a Queen to be falling falling like a fresh mango.
If you are in Christ Jesus, you have an inbuilt self-control system within you. You are always empowered to overcome any form of temptation. Even before a completely nude lady; you will fly like Saint Paul said; flee youthful lust! (2 Tim 2:22).
Watch out for the next episode: until then, stay connected and stay safe. You are precious for someone to say she/he was my previous.
©Michael Akparibo Alung
See also  The Paypal Story

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